MIKA HOJE Y HOUDINI

I'm a sucker for music with lyrics I don't understand, I don't care for lyrics anyway but bad lyrics can fuck up a perfectly good song, that can't happen with these tunes 'cause I don't know what the fuck they're singing about:

- Meic Stevens is a Welsh dude, so this song is probably about fucking sheep and than making 'em go away in a magical way: 'Y Brawd Houdini'. I think it's a great, catchy tune but I'm pretty sure if it was sung in flemish I would've hated it.

- Sadistic Mika Band is a japanese glamrockband who toured with Roxy Music, I'm sure Bryan got himself some asian pussy on that tour! 'Silver Child' starts of with some real fat beats, a funky guitar and a girl moaning, always a great combination to make the Whale horny!

- Rita Lee was the singer for the best band ever that sang in a language I can't understand, Os Mutantes. 'Beija-me, Amor' starts of very mellow but slowly builds up to some kind of primitive Bossa Nova. It's got a great guitarsolo with moaning from Rita (I seem to detect a pattern here).

Enjoy!

Next up: punkrock I can't understand

NO FAGS FOR A FEW?

Last wednesdaynight 3 of the 4 the Faggots tried to convince me they actually have sex with females. They urged me to write about it on here by going:"I'm not gonna tell you 'cause you're gonna write about it on your site!" and then they told me anyway. One of 'em even left 'cause he supposedly had a date with a girl that night to have sex, he just drove around untill he was sure I left or he had a date with a dude, although I doubt he could get a date with a guy 'cause he hasn't got an ass. Another Fag told such weird sexstuff even the other guys were freaked out. At least the third one admitted he fantasized about Bill Hicks when he had sex with a girl! Bill Hicks! You must be a homo to get turned on by that ugly fucker (see photo)! They really must think I'm fucking stupid as they obviously haven't got a clue what real heteromen are all about. Only one of the guys didn't pretend to like girls so if there's one hetero in that band it must be him. You guess who!

KILLA TV

Hello bored teenagers and welcome to KILLA TV! Let me turn you on with my faketits and my blowjoblips and some hot clips you won't see on your dumbass-tv!
- More bands could use purple matching outfits and a buttshaking violinplaying chick: Bobby Conn
- A song about the people from Meulestee: PIG PIG
- A song about Meulestees national sport: Fish fight
- Punkrock and zombies, two of my favourite things in one clip: Cloroxgirls
- Animal gets his butt whooped in this drum battle
- The coolest indians ever: Black Lips
- Yes, you can puke and play guitar with your dick at the same time: Freak out!
- Nanaa naanana! Life is life!
- If only all terrorists would be this cool, terrorism would be fun!

A PONY FOR MOBY

We need to save Moby (not the asshole rockstar, when is somebody gonna pull a John Lennon on that guy?), he used to like great music, heavy hardcorepunkrockshit and stuff but now he even likes Oldgay (Coldplay, duh) maybe 'cause he's old and all that working out at the fitnesscenter is pretty fucking gay! I think the Ponys can save him 'cause they sound heavy and sensitive at the same time, especially with the other singer. I thought it was the girl who sang this 'till I saw'em live, it turned out to be a dude, boys who sound like girls, that's the stuff Moby likes! This is their most pussy song: 'I love you ('cause you look like me)'. And here's an old post with another song you can still download.

DJ KILLAWHALE

Tomorrow in Den Hemel before and after the dark lords of gay rock Flowers for the Few! Come say hi! Bring coke and/or hookers!

RUBBER MARINA

Not as creepy as the dude claims (what a pussy) but very fucked up and kind of funny : Rubber Johnny!

(thanks to Father Damian connaisseur Halfoat)

JAM

Tonight in Tijl, jamsession with members of Hypnos 69, Titty Twister, Dexter Jones Circus Orchestra, Flowers for the Few and Cruising on Majik Carpets (what's with all the long bandnames dudes? Sounds like you have to make up for something short). A lot of noise has been promised so be there or keep your hearing just a little longer. Untill monday for example when there's a regular Hypnos 69 show at Den Hemel in Zichem together with those Dexter Jones dudes. On friday Flowers for the Few and No Fancy Car will open for DJ Killawhale at Den Hemel. Sharon Jones is playing the 18th at the Sojo (I thought that place was closed, maybe the nazi-neighnours who shut them down are on holiday?).

UHURA

All the magazines and papers are going crazy about Millionaire lately, about how they are 'sexy' and so very 'punkrock'. My stupid self who will never learn thought maybe there was finally something good paid attention to so I put in an effort to type in 'Paradisiac' in the searchengine of my favourite illegal downloadsystem, press the right mouse button and select 'download containing folder' and spend some of my precious bandwidth to get to hear this fabulous and amazing record. What a fucking waste of time, effort and bandwidth! If you want to call a secondhand pseudo-wild version of the Queens of the 'how to become boring in only four records' Stoneage 'sexy' and 'punkrock' you're an idiot, if you want to believe these idiots, you're an even bigger idiot!
So this is what I call 'sexy punkrock': 'I'm saving myself for Nichelle Nichols' by the Dirtbombs. The music is fast, loud and sloppy (PUNKROCK!) and the singer is so fucking desperate (SEXY!) it's unbelievable, he wants to fuck Nichelle (lt. Uhura from Star Trek) so bad and he knows it will never happen but he just won't give up.

THE GAYEST INSTRUMENT IN THE WORLD

I got to hear the Faggots For The Few record the other day and I was thinking it was pretty good, not very homosexual at all. But than there it was: the gayest instrument in the world! You know, the one that makes you look like your sucking a giant dick and that sounds like the kind of diarrhea you get from too much buttfucking (a very familiar sound in the Faggot-house). It was invented by the Aboriginals to get revenge on the white man by making them pay to look like the cocksuckers they are. Don't fuck with the Aboriginals!

Don't miss the Fags gig on july 15 at gaybar Den Hemel 'cause DJ Killawhale will chase the squares away before and after their show with a set of psychedelic punk BOOM! I will remind you!