SANDALS

I fucking hate ‘em. Only when dudes wear ‘em of course. With girls you can at least fantasize about sucking their toes! But dudes, I don’t want to see your dirty hairy monstertoes, wear some fucking shoes motherfuckers or wear the ever hip and tasteful sock-in-sandals combination so I can make some fun of you! I can’t make fun of naked feet, they fucking disgust me. You won’t see me showing off my nasty feet so why do I have to see yours. So watch out! When I see you wearing sandals this summer be prepared to have your toes crushed or be puked on by your dear Killerwhale! Fuck you, hippies!