HELLEVATOR

MOVIEREVIEW: As I was waiting in line to buy a ticket for the movie I was getting really annoyed by the bozos in front of me. First off all: they already had their tickets! I had to wait outside in the goddamn cold for at least 30 seconds longer because of these assholes. One of them had this superfancy cellphone with all kinds of extra buttons and crap, he was smart enough to work that but still so stupid to stand in line for absolutely no good reason? More proof that the stupider you are the more buttons your cellphone has got. Even worst was the other guy, he was trying to grow some kind of beard but I couldn't really tell 'cause he still had the same kind of facial hair a 12-year old has got. And just when I thought this guy couldn't sink any deeper I noticed it: he was wearing fucking DOCKSIDES! I hate those fucking shoes, only the extremest assholes wear them. Satan designed them to recognise the people who sold their souls to him. If those shoes existed in WWII the Gestapo would've worn them instead of those big black boots. And they are Dutroux's favorite shoes! So I was really getting in the mood for some violent insanity but my premovie hell still wasn't over! As we were sitting down the guy who was sitting next to my girlfriend immediately got up and moved one seat up uttering the words:'Don't take it personal.', it turned out to be 'antwerp rockstar' (which is short for 'the biggest asshole that ever lived in the universe') Stijn! I guess 'antwerp rockstars' don't like to sit next to us normal people. I was ready to get all personal on his curly hair and let that butt he calls his face meet with my fists but he got lucky: the movie started. And it was a killer! Every frustrated fantasy I had in the 15 minutes of personal hell I had to endure to watch this got topped by the violent shit that played out on the big screen in front of me. Hellevator, go see it when you feel you're going to turn into a serial killer!