PANDA

Pandas are cool, so is this song.

BIG BONERS & BARBECUES

The heat turns people into fucking cavemen. We lose our minds and instead of trying to escape the heat we do stuff to get even hotter and sweatier! Like barbecueing: hey, it's 30+ fucking degrees outside let's build a fucking fire and sweat our balls off. And what makes those balls even more sweaty and sticky? That's right: FUCKING! I'm still in control of my mind enough to keep away from the fucking barbecue when it's hot but what man can keep control of his dick? That fucking sun heats up the blood in my dick and makes it hard as a rock all the fucking time, even more than usual! I haven't got a pair of shorts with a zipper that isn't busted. And I can't even be pissed about it 'cause who doesn't like a big boner? (lesbians?)

Here's a great song to fuck to when it's hot.
And here are some more Raquel Welch pictures to jerk off to when you haven't got a girlfriend or she doesn't want to fuck anymore.

CARPORN

Since Hypnos 69 got themselves on the soundtrack of something that looks like porno for carfreaks Peejke hasn't stopped jerking off.

MY FIRST BLACKOUT

It had to happen sooner than later. Yesterday, I, for the first time in my life, woke up somewhere without remembering how I got there! No big deal, I still was at home in a bed, only it wasn't my bed and I made a big fucking mess to get in there. But I don't remember shit about it, NOTHING! Fuck me! All because of the 'cheapest wine all over Europe' (according to the mighty King Khan and I'm sure he knows). So obviously I felt like a big pile of donkeyshit yesterday (I felt like puking all day, you hippies were lucky that it wasn't hot!) and I'm still not feeling that fresh right now so I've been listening to a lot of mellow jams (yes, I do like 'dreamy ballads' despite what that talentless dogfucker claims on the Hypnos 69-forum, everybody knows Hypnos just keeps him around because he buys all the stuff on Ebay they tell him to!). So here's a 'dreamy ballad' by Brother JT who obviously knows what hangovers are all about, 'Nowhere slow' is how I felt yesterday after I fell into a 'Big black hole' (thank Satan for the Oblivians). And GG Allin knows what Marx really likes: 'Fuckin' the dog'!

FREE MICHAEL JACKSON!

Who cares about global warming? The war in Iraq? That asshole Karel Degucht? What really keeps me awake at night is if Michael Jackson will go to jail for fucking little boys up the ass! That's why I dedicated a post to the one and only King of Pop(ping sherries). Check the amazing Celine Dion as Michael Jackson here and listen to a song about Michael by Capital Scum here. Enjoy! And FREE MICHAEL!

THE MOTHERFUCK OF AFRICA

Am I deaf or is that what the dude yells at the start? Anyway, this is some wild and loud Afrofunk, like Blue Cheer jammin' with Fela. Crazy stuff! Check it here.

FREE ARTY FARTY FAGGOTRY!

No, it's not a Flowers For The Few song but four movies by the king of arty farty faggotry Kenneth Anger:
Kustom Kar Kommandos
Invocation Of My Demon Brother
Puce Moment
Scorpio Rising
Enjoy!

SANDALS

I fucking hate ‘em. Only when dudes wear ‘em of course. With girls you can at least fantasize about sucking their toes! But dudes, I don’t want to see your dirty hairy monstertoes, wear some fucking shoes motherfuckers or wear the ever hip and tasteful sock-in-sandals combination so I can make some fun of you! I can’t make fun of naked feet, they fucking disgust me. You won’t see me showing off my nasty feet so why do I have to see yours. So watch out! When I see you wearing sandals this summer be prepared to have your toes crushed or be puked on by your dear Killerwhale! Fuck you, hippies!