METAL BUDDHA

My Satori: religion sucks, people suck, peace, love and understanding can kiss my ass.

The Flower Travellin' Band look like a bunch of buddhist hippies and what about that stupid bandname? Yet they manage to sound goddamn EVIL! The singer sounds like Robert Plant buttfucking Ozzy with a goat's head and Jimmy Page can only dream of sounding as possessed by Satan as this guy does. I'm pretty sure there's more than one japanese crazy fucker who got inspired to do some killing after hearing this stuff. But hey, it's all in the name of Zen Buddhism and shit, hahahaha!

Listen to "Satori pt. 1" from their Satori LP

WHO'S GAY?

So last weekend I joined the Hypnos 69-crew to conquer Holland, here's what happened:

Stuff discussed with Orca in tourvan:
- Robby's possible gayness (he isn't by the way (I'm just saying that so he wouldn't kick my ass))
- gossip about dudes from other bands, mostly about their possible gayness
- what bands suck (the Doors, Karate), what bands rule (At the Drive-in, Jefferson Airplane), bad songs from cool bands (Stairway to heaven!), cool songs from bad bands (Speed king!)
- the mighty Biebob
- fucking the Vandelaer up the ass while pulling his sexy curls

Stuff discussed with Orca not in tourvan:
- NOTHING 'cause they fucking SLEEP!

Hypnos ruled the night even without their huge and many amps and drums. Sunn((o-soundchecks are funny (just set it as loud as fucking possible). High On Fire sounded even more evil than I expected, there is a Satan! Most of that stonercrap fucking sucks. Ugly german dudes really, really like Hypnos 69, they need more female fans so they can get rid of their smallsized t-shirts (and it's more fun for the guy who sells their shit (yes, that would be me)). Backstage is boring. Heineken sucks but it gets you drunk. American stonerdudes like belgian girls.

VOTE HYPNOS 69

so I can get a ride and get in for free like at the Roadburnfestival last weekend (review coming up!). Vote here!

PONY IN PINK

Glass Conversation by the Ponys is a strangely addictive song that reminds me of the first boner I ever had for a redhead. I sometimes still wish I was that dude in "The Breakfast Club" that got to bite her pussy!

SHAMPOO HELL

Last week I took the metro in Brussels for a long ride. It was the middle of the day so not a lot was going on. No hot schoolgirls or secretaries to enjoy just a bunch of old farts and criminal types. So I just looked around a bit. The dude in front of me was reading a paper and on the back there was a new shampoocommercial with professional scumbag Stefan Everts. Who the fuck came up with that stupid idea? Let's use a dude who's always wearing a helmet or a hat to sell hairproducts! Coke is still cheap for advertisingagencies I guess. When the train stopped at the next station whose ugly mug was staring at me? You guessed it! Stefan fucking Everts, I always hated the motherfucker but this was going to far! Where are the days when hot naked chicks under waterfalls were selling shampoo? Luckily the train didn't stop too long. Next station. Who's looking me in the eye? Yes, it's the most stupid limburger ever born! I can't even type his name anymore or I am gonna break the computer. Guess who was waiting for me at the next stop? AAAARGH! Was I stuck in some crazy nightmare? Would I ever get out these dark tunnels and escape the glare of the two-wheeled retard pointing that green bottle in my face? This went on and on and on untill finally we reached my stop! In the meantime I made up a million ways to kill that asshole, his family, his friends, his team, his manager, every other stupid motorcyclist, the advertisingagency who invented this commercial, the guy who put the posters up, the guy who allowed these posters in the station,... But fuck all that, I could get off! I left the station as soon as possible. As I was walking up the stairs I saw a poster. First I only saw some feet, than knees, a small crotch, this couldn't be true, but it was, a giant asshole showing off his scumbagsmile, even in the outsideworld, why???????????? AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NIPPLE 69

UPDATE

FUCK YOU