IT'S GETTING TOO FUCKING HOT OUT THERE

Or so they say. Have these people been outside lately? My fucking balls have been freezing off, when I come nothing is coming out 'cause my sperm is frozen, I feel like I am turning into a walking sperm bank. It's all because of the pollution they say, so I've been driving around in my very polluting dieselcar to add my bit in chasing this fucking cold weather away but it just keeps on getting colder and colder. I wish the earth was heating up but it doesn't fucking feel like it!